Lazy and Crazy
by mishap
Summary: A really different Itachi


Title: Lazy and Crazy

Author: Mishap AKA Mishap00 and Rorac the Dragon Knight

Rating: T

Feedback: mishap00 yahoo'com

Website: .com

Fandom: Naruto

Disclaimer: Any rights we are entitled to we freely give back to the copyrighted owners of Naruto. We own nothing and make no claims.

Pairing: n/a

Status: Incomplete

Series:

Archive: WWOMB, any list I send it to, and my site.

Summary: Itachi has always been a genius. What if his mother was born a Nara and he recognized the downside of being an Uchiha long before anyone would believe possible.

Warnings: Massively OOC Itachi, slightly cracked…okay, very, very cracked

Notes: We credit the name and the inspiration of this fic to the author who wrote "The bastard offspring of an Uchiha and a Nara, lazy and crazy." We can remember the quote but not the author who wrote it; if anyone can tell us the author's pen name we will be happy to credit it.

Update: The story owes the title and inspiration to MockV's A Twist of Chance (arguably one of the best Naruto stories on FFN IMHO and sadly unfinished). Specifically chapter nine is where Lazy and Crazy came from.

Two Months Prior to Kyubbi's attack

Uchiha Fugaku stared in consternation, watching as his son and heir was being corrupted by his beloved wife. Uchiha Mikoto, formerly a Nara, was eight months pregnant with his second child. During her first pregnancy she was her normal calm, unflappable self. Her second, and last if he had anything to say about, was as different as night and day to say the very least.

Despite the reassurance the medic Nins had given him, that every pregnancy was different and that his wife's "mood swings" were caused by hormone fluctuations. He could not rid himself of the idea that his sweet and gentle wife had been possessed by an evil demon.

Fugaku mentally cringed as he recalled the look on his wife's face when he had tried to separate her and his son from the enormous quantities of pocky they were devouring as they watched those horrid and insipid 'beach' movies that she now adored and insisted upon lately. The amount of killing intent that she had focused on him during the attempt had literally brought him to his knees.

In a voice that he swore came from the deepest, darkest pits of hell she turned to her son and instructed him, "Itachi, **NEVER, EVER** let anyone take your pocky."

"Yes mommy." Itachi nodded obediently and took his mother's lesson to heart.

Two Days after the Kyubbi attacked

Fugaku was not a fanciful man, but as he gazed at the sheer cope of the destruction visited up the village he couldn't help wondering if the demon responsible for the devastated village was possibly the same one that he was sure had possessed his wife prior to the birth of his second son, Sasuke.

Six Months Following the Attack of the Kyubbi

The Uchiha Clan Head, Fugaku was ready to tear his hair out in frustration. Prior to his wife's corrupting influence on Itachi he had been a model Uchiha. He was diligent, hard-working and stoic, proud of his heritage and clan.

Now…now he didn't know what to think his son, his poor Itachi had put aside the sensible, dark clothing tastefully marked with the Uchiha clan symbol. Instead he wore bright, loud, eye-searing flower and foliage patterned clothes and even worse his speech patterns had begun to degrade he was inappropriately addressing the clan elders as 'Dude'. And though he still worked diligently on his ninja skills, with impressive results, he no longer did so to the exclusion of all else. He'd even taken to going cloud watching with his Nara cousins and had wasted more than one afternoon sprawled on a hillside doing so.

The rumors and whispers had become too loud to ignore any longer. He couldn't help but hear them every where he went. 'The Uchiha heir had been tainted by the terror of the fox demon.' Or 'Poor Fugaku his heir has from the strain of the demon's attack' and worst of all, the one closest to what he had come to believe was the truth. 'It was bound to happen sooner or later mixing two blood lines like the Nara and Uchiha you just can't avoid getting the worst of both and this boy is just plain lazy _and_ crazy.


End file.
